Feeling relieved for the first day?

I wished so. Hahah. But no....

Couldn't even get a proper sleep from the nervousness of the night....my mind's still alive and ticking and my eyes were like half-opened.... waking up, i feel like i hadn't sleep at all!! how worst was that to start a day!

The School: (SM Masin/Salty hahah)
Colour: Orangy building (as i remember...errr....)
Space: Ample space! when i come around 715, there was no jam ane wah.. and parking was alot too. Football field, as wide as the eyes can see.....

Stepping my first foot to the establishment, front reception, there was no one. (yes they have a reception counter!) nicely air conditioned. . . .

Reporting to the principal, but she wasnt in. so i was tossed around for a while, till i was shown to a teacher and told her that im reporting for 'relief' post. ..... she brought me down to staffroom 2 where there were still many empty cubicles...(cubicles yo...)

Expectg me to sit and wait for the moment, so stay seated i was... my minds still lingering for an answer to the question of my nervousness...as i was told before that, they are going to give me Commerce Form 2......i flipped through the syllabus pages.....gulp!!!!! my worst nightmare : bookeeping aka accounting! oh no~!!! :(

ok, ok, i stayed calm.... busy messaging sally (who's happily asleep :) and amirul (in sy.abu:) telling them how an intro i was shown by the school. (that's the problem when ure alone).......and i even texted Wan (a friend of mine, teachg englsih there) ...turned out that he was in the library... so i went up to the library....small.....and collection of books pun,,hmmm..tak gune cakap lah...i can't even find sources for my subject area (commerce)...

as the time flies by, like in a flat where i was confined to just 4 polygonal spaces (the cubicle) except for a hollow back where passer-bys can see me, many spotted me lah jua.....'eh, teacher baru kah?'...Nada eh, relief saja chegu...''aaah, bukan guru baru ah?''....Awu~.......so wherever i go and a teacher spotted me, yg ringan mulut and curious atu pun bertanya lah d same question, over and over again....they emphatised us for not getting posted yet, despite the need for more teachers. or should i say, the lack of teachers? funny. how i wish i dont have to answer and they instead tell me the answer why we're not taken yet! in general, those teachers who greeted me and come up with all those fancy repeated questions, are friendly...and that made me feel welcome....chewah~

right, i was then introduced to my HOD , Mr.Hoh...he's under control of giving me the class it seems, apart from the timetabling section, and i was given form 2 commerce. little bit unorganised and panic and sweaty, hehe, he searched through the syllabus for form 2.... payah ya mencari......but in the end he found it, fuuh, made me feel nervous too lah.....skali, he gave me his copy and i looked at it....errrkkk and there i saw it..'bookkeeping' :S....

He kept on mentioning a TP teacher by the name of Nurol....and that rings a bell....its a friend of mine, junior.....and she's the one who's been teaching the Form 2 class, making the scheme of work and going to set the exam paper as well....

Since my class was the last 2 periods, the HOD and his friend brought me to the canteen...kira ia blanja lah...thankfully...the food was alright...(nda plg nyaman tu, hehe)

back to the staffroom,feeling nervous, i kept on reading on bookeeping, just the intro, and i had the grasp of it. i thought it might be easy lah......txted nurol to come asap...yes she was coming despite TP ended last saturday. she voluntarily wanted to continue, but with my prsence, dat day was the last for her. while anxiously waiting for her to reply, and the period's already comng, i walked to the class, anxiously...and there she was already...lerrr!

talked to her that im going to take over her class, but i'll let her continue and just observed her....as the first period approaching to end... there's an announcement from the school's speaker...... know what? my name was called! gila jua tu! Cikgu Eewan diminta ke Form 1D untuk merelif kelas......

see dat? suka2 hati skulah ah menyuruh 'relief'...

class ended, and i talked over to Nurol and discussed abt what had she done for 2A...listening to her explaining to accounting stuffs made me feel not confident to teach and take over the class. sigh. seriously, accounting is so not me. i have very low-self esteem abt accounting and although relearning it on my own is a possibility, but how can i learn and teach at the same time? aren't a teacher supposed to be a master in what they teach? i believe, at this stage, at this moment in time, we are not learning new stuffs, but rather learning to teach what we already know. now dont get me wrong, dont put this out of context. alright. hehe.

before i went home, time's approaching 1400, i went to see the principal. expressing to her that i am not confident to teach commerce form 2. i told her everything lah. being honest that i truly can't. even told her that, if the school doesnt need me, its fine for me. i dont mind. but as she said, we do need u, but in a different field lah tu. different subject.

upon releasing all those grudges, i was really hoping that my subject would be changed. im making this sounded like im 'posted' already. padahal baru jua relief. its just simple. why do i have to teach something that i dont know abt and not confident about. im only a relief teacher. and there are more than 20 students that will suffer as a result. right? so u decide and think abt dat. gimme ur comments. . .